Adventures in Freelance Insanity
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Holly
I mostly read the emails of my online support group. Occaisionally I comment if someone asks for specific advice that I can give.
For the most part, I keep to myself because I dont think I fit in so well with the other moms.
I'm not a full-time stay-at-home mom, not married, I dont agree with some of their main goals, but most of all I am in no way religous.
Therefore when Jake was six months old I was happy to talk to the mom of a newborn who was one half of a same-sex couple. I felt that now I had a friend who was more like me. Plus, I had a chance to use all this knowledge to reach out a hand to someone behind me just as the group had reached out to me.
I would write more about Holly and her parents except I dont have their permission.
So I will tell you that this lovely little fighter took her parents on the HLHS rollercoaster that so many of them ride.
And I rooted for them and thought about them everyday, hoping that soon their lives could settle down to "normal", whatever that means with kids like ours.
Two nights ago I got an email saying that Holly had passed away on January 3rd.
Even though I never met her I carried her around in my heart. I wont forget you little Holly. May you find peace.
9:34 a.m. - 2007-01-10
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Comments
Currently, my comments are turned off. As soon as I ask one of my techo-inclined online friends I will change the format a little and re-allow comments. Thanks.
11:51 p.m. - 2007-01-01
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Im Glad (for once) It's Not Me Dealing With this Bullshit
I LOVE This!!!
1. Math is important.
2. This is why I hate Verizon, insurance companies, billing departments, etc.
3. I would have lost it after a few times and started spewing invectives. Really. I cant stand this bullshit. Investors are getting rich because customer service doesnt pay enough to have people in it who understand basic math principals.
4. I wish there was a way to charge companies for all the time they make you wait because they are too stupid to understand what you are talking about.
5. I sympathize at first. Quoting something that you have been told or is written (even if inncorrect) isnt necessarily something I would catch. But when someone EXPLAINS it, especially as well as this guy did, and you still dont get it, you need to go back to six grade.
6. Are math teachers just cringing about this? Doesnt it make them sad and disheartened?
7. My own rant about customer service is this. Even if you are not authorized to help in ANY WAY WHATSOEVER, APOLOGIZE. Apologize, apologize, apologize. "Im sorry that happened to you." People are way less likely to keep complaining. The very very least Verizon could do is apologize.
8. My favorite Verizon conversation was this one - Her: Ma'am, this took place 25 days ago.
Me: Yes.
Her: Well, why didnt you call then?
Me: Well, I was busy. I've been in the hospital with my son and other things.
Her: Well, if we made a mistake you would've called right away.
Me: Im calling now. And it's abviously a mistake.
Her: Ive worked here for 15 years. (when they start telling you the years theyve worked here you should always know bullshit will follow). If we make a mistake, people call right away.
Me: So you're saying that because I didnt call right away it must not be a mistake?
Her: Right.
Via The Zero Boss
2:34 p.m. - 2006-12-14
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12 Days of Christmas or Something
Only two weeks before Christmas
I foolishly bought for me
12 Sailor's Curses
11 Lost Candies
10 Tears of Sadness
9 Improv-i-sations
8 "Leftover" Pieces
7 Uh-ohs
6 Eaten Candies
5 Times I quit this thing
4 Margueritas
3 Hours of Work
2 Icing Mistakes
All for a Gingerbread Train
Eat your Heart Out Martha Stewart. I rule. Especially after 4 Margueritas.
9:27 p.m. - 2006-12-11
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Of Cabbage and Kings
The Good
I have written some of you in response to your comments about my ex. For those that don’t know, this is delicious. A little background – the ex broke his ankle about 4 weeks before but refused a hard cast. He showed up (sans wife) at church for our son’s confirmation, but he didn’t wear his “soft cast” – he IS that vain and he figured, no biggie, right?
At some point during the ceremony a piece of the bench fell off and CRACK! – right onto his already-broken ankle. He cried and had to go to the hospital.
I’m not a big fan of the Catholic God but in this case, I gotta say – Good one, God.
Don’t even think it, I was nowhere NEAR him. I do admit to laughing heavily in the car later, though, when my son couldn’t hear.
All About the Baby
Jake now says Uh-oh but uses it as an accompaniment to doing something he’s not supposed to do, rather than signaling a mistake. Luckily, he’s very cute.
He has been sick off and on, respiratory, teething, etc but he still manages to have more energy than me. I. Whatever.
People suck and are surprisingly rude right out loud. Has no one heard of manners? I don’t mind so much now but when he gets older I’m going to end up in jail. I don’t care about kids who wonder stuff aloud, that’s normal but when an adult says “Is he ever going to get bigger or is he always going to be that small?” and I say “Most kids get a lot bigger after their Fontan and I’m sure he will.” And they say “But he’s so small. Will he always be smaller?”
Shut the fuck up. Really. I don’t care if he’s 2 feet high his whole entire life. He’s alive. He’s smart. He has a great sense of humor and plenty of people who love him. I don’t mind if he’s small but I DO mind if he’s a rude asshole. That was a hint. Nice talking to ya.
I also realized that was why people flock to him – he is so miniature. Although he is the size of a 6 month old, he has the personality and mannerisms of an 18 month old. I’m sure once he starts walking it will be much worse.
On a lighter note, he could walk if he wanted to but he is terrified of falling on his butt. This is the same kid who will jump right off the bed onto his face and go on as if nothing has happened but landing on his diapered hiney – Pavarotti would be jealous of the lungs on this boy. He takes his walker and drags it behind him sometimes. Hilarious.
My current favorite Face story is during PT, he is walking down the block ever-so-slowly when I get an idea. I place my cup (which he is not allowed to touch) on the sidewalk and all of a sudden he is the Mario Andretti of the walker set. Not only that but he tries a sly little dip-grab-keep walking move that was heartwarming to his therapist and made me narrow my eyes. I am in SO much trouble with this one.
Pictures!
Please note my dad made the taglines and he is a huge dork and I dont know how to delete them so...
The Teen Woes
Here’s my story. As we all know, letting kids get away with things occasionally is okay but when it becomes a habit it is just as hard to break them of it as it would have been to keep on their butt in the first place. My son has gotten away with slipshod cleaning for quite a while now. Here’s our fight:
T: Can you come check this? [the kitchen floor, for final approval]
Me: (incredulous) Do you see that? There is a LINE of dirt, hair and god-knows-what right there [all around the edges of the floor].
T: Yeah.
Me: So why did you ask me to check it?
T: Well, if you stand up you cant see it.
Me: And? Who cares? It’s not clean.
T: Sigh [I don’t kill him although I want to]
T: So, can I be done?
Me: No. You need to clean this floor.
T: But I DID.
Me: THIS is not clean. Clean is – do you really think this is clean?
T: Shrug.
Me: Okay. This is what I’m going to do. I’m gonna leave you here. I’m gonna come back in 20 minutes. I’m going to have you lick the floor in an area I pick. How bout that?
T: You cant make me lick the floor.
Me: This is what I am saying. That is your standard. Since you obviously don’t know how to decide if something is clean or not, I’m giving you the standard. Ask yourself – would I lick it? If you wouldn’t, then it’s not clean.
T: (mutters) I wouldn’t lick it anyway. Duh.
Me: Enough. Enough with the attitude. Finish the floor.
T: I SAID I would.
Me: Fine. You’re grounded. Two weeks. Enough of the attitude.
T: Whatever.
Me: Three weeks.
He doesn’t learn to zip it until he’s grounded for nine weeks. Nine.
T: You cant ground me for nine weeks.
Me: Yes I can.
T: No you cant.
Me: Why not?
T: Because that is cruel and unusual punishment and the constitution says you cant.
Me: (try not to laugh) Well, I’m glad you’re paying attention in civics but I’m afraid grounding doesn’t qualify. Now hand over your i-pod.
T: you cant have that. It’s my property!
Me: I hate to tell you this but you don’t own property. You cant until you are 18.
Of course it ended with the I hate you, I’m running away, I hate this place but I had to work really hard not laugh at how much of a cliché all of it was. In case you think I’m a huge hard-ass, He was allowed to work off (with chores) days so he was grounded for 8 days and I had a clean house at the end of it. Win-win.
The Insurance Blues
Why haven’t you written? You ask. And I answer. We have capped-out Face’s insurance, which means they will no longer pay 1 dime toward his treatment. Freak-out time. Not only that, but they started going back as far as last December to ask doctors/hospitals for their money back (the reason is boring and complicated). So I now have a third job – insurance. I am an expert in how insurance companies work, billings, and wanting to kill people.
In case you didn’t realize, the entire purpose of health insurance/billing departments is to make you miserable and unhappy while doing the most slipshod, apathetic job possible while still being technically alive. The underlying purpose is to force people to pay bills they don’t owe, to gain interest while they pretend to not understand stuff my dog gets right away and generally make you want to cry every day.
The funniest part is that if you slip for a minute and they send you to collections one of the first thing collection agents say is “This bill is from blah long ago, you had plenty of time to resolve it.” Hilarious.
Here’s my 3 favorite stories to illustrate the joys of dealing with these people. Keep in mind that each and every phone call to the doc/hospital/insurance etc. requires choosing various phone options, entering account numbers, and waiting waiting waiting on hold:
Story 1
1. Call billing company about bill from 7-9-05. That’s right. All the other things I have done over the months and it’s still not fixed. I call on Monday. They say the billing is so complicated that the only way it will get straightened out is if they talk directly to the insurance company. They cant call out.
2. I call the insurance company and ask them to call the billing company. I give them the information and she says she will call them and call me back to let me know what happened.
3. Tuesday, I get a message from insurance company. I call back. They have called billing and billing told them they have no such account/person.
4. I call billing. Yes, the insurance company called but a note in the file says that they didn’t give the right account number. It was close but not right and legally they cant give info without the right account info.
5. I call insurance company, explain what happened and ask them to call again. They call with me listening on the line and get a machine, where they leave a message asking billing to call them. Billing has already told me they cant call out. Sigh.
6. Wednesday. I call the insurance company and ask them to call billing. Spend at least a half an hour convincing this insurance agent it is necessary.
7. Success! A 3-way phone call is finally established. Heather from billing, John from the insurance company and I are on the case! Surely we can solve this.
A ½ hour later, John and Heather still cant even find all the matching records to try to sort this out. They have been going through the bill and both are obviously thoroughly not getting far because it is complicated. I am overjoyed. Finally, I am not the only one trying to wade through this bullshit and realizing how screwed up it is while being told by both sides how easy it is. As if sensing the primary purpose of insurance and billing (see above) is not being accomplished –
Heather: Frankly, I don’t understand why we are even going through this {!!!!!!}
John: Me either.
Me: Because you are sending me a bill asking me for money.
Heather: Yes, money that you owe us.
Me: No, I owe you $650. You are billing me for $1801. So somewhere around $1200 is getting lost in the mix.
Heather: It is probably your deductible.
Me: You have bills that the insurance company hasn’t even addressed, correct?
Heather: Yes.
Me: Then that is why you two are talking.
Heather: Well, I cant spend all this time on one thing. This is a call center.
John: Why don’t you send me the bill and now that I have a handle on some of the problems I will try to fix it.
Heather: Fine. Whose attention should I send it to?
John: My name is John.
Heather: You are the only John in your whole company? (I know I am not properly conveying what a bitch she was)
John: No, but Ill stand by the fax machine and wait for it.
Heather: I cant fax out.
I leave you here because although she eventually got special permission or whatever nothing has happened with it and I have temporarily moved on to other insurance problems. What do you think the chances are that it has been resolved? Me too.
Story 2
For Charity Care I have gathered the 534,893 documents and have met with the person in charge twice. Everything is ready to go. All I need is a letter from Face’s doctor. Face’s doctor who works for the same hospital.
Me: Hi, I called on Friday asking you to fax the letter over to YA (Person in charge). She has everything she needs except for that letter. (If I hadn’t said that I would totally forgive the rest of the exchange but I made it clear – I already talked to YA, it was all set up except for the letter)
Nurse: Did you apply for Medicaid first?
Me: No, we aren’t eligible for Medicaid. We have insurance. It just isn’t paying anything anymore.
Nurse: You have to apply for Medicaid first. You need to talk to YA.
Me: I’ve already met with her. Twice. She confirmed we aren’t eligible for Medicaid. We are eligible for Charity Care, she just needs the letter from you guys.
Nurse: I’ve never heard of that. Usually you have to apply for Medicare first, then if they deny you you can get Charity Care.
Me: All YA needs is the letter.
Nurse: Did you apply for Catastrophic Fund? They almost always have money to spare. You should apply to them.
Me: (Hugely pissed but being calm and nice). I only have so much time in the day. I have an appointment with an insurance lawyer tomorrow, and Ill apply for Catastrophic Fund Tomorrow, but YA said I should do this ASAP and all I need to finish it is a letter from you guys. So that’s what I’m doing.
Nurse: Okay, Ill send the letter over but you should really apply for the Catastrophic Fund. They almost always have money.
By the Way, I really do have a list – it is a whole book with all the things I have to do for this BS. Almost all of them as annoying as these conversations.
Story 3
This is really my favorite because it is proof beyond doubt that it is all about making people miserable.
Me: Hi. I’m calling because I trying to find out how much money I’m gonna owe you since you are paying my insurance company back for visits from as far back as last December.
Her: I cant tell you that. You should call your insurance company.
Me: But you guys are the one that called me to tell me my insurance company was asking for money back. I’m just asking you how much.
Her: You need to call your insurance company.
Me: But they wont help me. They will ask me which ones I am talking about and I don’t know that. You would have the information.
Her: They are required to help you. If they wont help you what you need to do is –
Me: So you cant help me at all?
Her: No. If your insurance company wont help you you need to –
Me: You wont help at all?
Her: No.
Me: So if I said I want to pay you everything I owe you right now you couldn’t tell me how much that was?
Her: Yes. It’s $1,345.
Me: And what is that for?
Her: (starts listing dates and amounts)
I have taken up drinking. I raise a marguerita to you fine folks and thank you for all your comments. You guys rock! Hopefully I will be able to post normally now.
A little pimpage here – if you want to listen to my gorgeous, fabulous, talented sister (but I’m not biased!) Here's her page. Warning: starts playing her song right away.
10:12 p.m. - 2006-12-08
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