Adventures in Freelance Insanity ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Face's i-Pod Face has an i-Pod, her name is Mommy. As I've mentioned before, I was a professional singer for many years. Training, you sings many many show tunes. I know a LOT of show tunes, every lame bar song and holiday song (When Irish Eyes Are Smiling, anyone?) and, of course, R&B songs from when I was a singer in an R&B band. I have a freakish ability to remember lyrics at will. Once I learn them, it's forever. At any given moment I can Rap out Barenaked Ladies One Week (I know a TON of their songs), Galileo, Barry Manilow (shut up). I should try to write down one day (when Im bored at work) all the song lyrics I know that take up a major portion of my brain that could actually be used for something important, like tracking stock prices. Or counting cards (i can do four decks but no more). Alas, no. My first son's first song to get him to sleep was always "Little Wooden Head" from Pinnochio (dont ask me why). I decided for the Face that his "first song" on the playlist would be a different song (trying to keep it special, people) Now, as a dancing around the house song, I tend to sing "I Love You, a Bushel and a Peck" (no idea where that song came from). His favorite, guarenteed to make him smile song is Old MacDonald (what a poser this kid is!) But here is his GO TO SLEEP ALREADY playlist, sung by i-Pod Mommy - 1. If I Ruled the World (King and I)
Have a Happy Weekend! 11:44 a.m. - 2006-03-31 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bitch 1 and Bitch 2 Right, bitch #1 is one of those unsolvables. I hate when people ask me how Jake is doing. Either he's not doing well, in which case I dont really want to talk about it or I dont feel like explaining shit for the 450th time. On the other hand, if he's doing well, I dont want to say so because whenever you say things are great (or at least when I say it) I might as well duck cause the shit's soon gonna fly. Note to all of you who dont believe in luck: I know many people who feel this way. The make a sole exception for me because my luck is unbelievable. I am an optomistic person and constantly amazed by the bad luck I bring. So I know people are being nice when they ask, and concerned but my shrug is not meant to convey indifference. It's meant to convey my unwillingness to invite disaster or talk about it. Bitch #2 Medical people annoy the shit out of me. Jake's had a cold for about 6 weeks, viral, nuttin they can do. About 2 weeks ago it turned into no more runny nose and a hard, dry cough. Also his nose would turn blue (for some reason I am constitutionally unable to see a difference in his upper-lip area but his nose turns blue-black when he has respitory distress. Medical professionals scoff at this until they see his black nose.) They cant hear anything in his lungs (and whenever he comes in everyone has a shot at him, it's a teaching hospital). So pediatrician, hospital pediatrician, hospital attending, resident trainee, cardiac fellow, cardiologist all have a crack at him - no bad sounds in his lungs. No one is more surprised than I when the x-ray comes back - his lungs are filled with fluid. All right, so everyone is surprised. What's wrong with this kid? Why's he so damn happy all the time, even when he's really ill? They diagnose him with "wet lung", tell me to give him lasiks, after making me go through a care checklist and make promises (she actually made me raise my hand and swear, weirdo) they agreed not to admit him. Now I condense for you here but this day started at 9 am with the scarfing of a few Butterfinger Bites and we were released from the hospital at 7 PM that night. I could've stopped on the way from the pediatricians to the hospital but I felt that would be being a BAD MOTHER. Ill know better next time. Mommas need to keep their blood sugar up in a hostile environment. And a hospital is that. Wet lung? Once I got home and ingested food my brain started working again and I questioned this made-up sounding diagnosis. What's the difference between wet-lung and pnumonia? How can you tell the difference in x-ray or is this mere hoping vs. knowing? If the lasiks are supposed to clear his lungs up what good does going to the cardiologist on Monday do (I swore, remember?)? Thinking these questions on a saturday night is less helpful than, say, stress-inducing. Turns out, this whole wet-lung thing is a sign of congestive heart failure (that's where the cardiologist comes in) but lasiks should resolve it and we'll probably be sent (after an echo at his office) to the hospital for a follow-up x-ray. Cool. But I could've saved my liver a lot of tequila consumption if I had just remembered to bring some food to the hospital. Next time. Oh and Jake - how's he doing? :::Shrug::: 10:09 a.m. - 2006-03-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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